Gymtimidation a real thing or fantasy

We all have experienced it, Walk in the gym see macho man or better yet hear him pumping iron and grunting to prove it. Or lil miss thang walkin round in all her new Nike or PINK yoga pants glory, not workin out shit but her snapchat filters. Like we get it everyone has their motivation to get them in the gym rhythm but sometimes that energy you given off sis is interrupting the real goals I have, not the ones I’m tryna look like I have for likes….no shade though!

Then there’s the complete one- eighty of that group, the ones that know exactly what they are doing in the gym. They got all the moves, know everyone that comes in there,  knows all the equipment and uses it all the right or even wrong way; but knows how to make that junk look sweet as shit along the way. Leaving me to feel like my little work out session trix are for kids, and like I need to step my junk all the way up. To either of these groups, yall get on my nerves. I legit hated going to the gym off the strength of feeling that sense of gymtimidation, seeing all the bodies I wanted to be like and feeling as though I didn’t know how to get there besides just showing up. I was the one you would find, in the back of the gym. I was the anti social (sometimes still am), Somewhere in the corner, in an over sizes hoodie and head scarf, trying to look productive while avoiding all eye contact and motivating smiles from other gymers (yes gymers), getting this work and damn there hating every minute of it.

I’m not really sure where this gymtimidation came from as I’ve always made strides when I put my mind to it, but maybe that was it, I had to take my mind out of it and learn to love it, learn to become just as passionate and engulfed in the journey. Learn to explore my own moves and look at the other gymers like a family that I  sweat with on the daily basis. I’m becoming more comfortable attempting to try new exercises no matter how crazy I think I look because, goals. I’m learning to make more eye contact and at least smile sometimes cause relationships, and I’m learning to let go and even let out a grunt or two when the pain gets too real cause, motivation. I’m beginning to see, I wasn’t engaged in the process; which that is truly what it is. I wanted to make it look easy yet still get those hard to come by results. But as my beloved J Cole would say, its beauty in the struggle. Whatever pains I felt I had endured during my day, the gym becomes my sanctuary to let leave it all on the floor, literally. Walking out feeling as though I got a new-found energy just by removing the limitations I put on myself and those I subconsciously put on others.  Working out has become a continuous evolution for me as I learn to master one thing and attempt to conquer something new. Everyone in there is doing that same thing, at whatever level they are at. Just like life, we are all at “our level” For some it may be a new beginning, for others a modified journey, and yes some are just pump faking, but that’s none of my business.

As I learn to shed the dead weight, literally and figuratively, I’m learning to find motivation in the journey;  find motivation in those around me that’s on the journey too, and most importantly the only way to get better at any life journey, take off the judgment. Judgment of self for not feeling as though I’m where I want to be and judgment of others to be who and what they are. We are all on the journey but we each have our own individual journey within the main joint. So to those who feel themselves feeling the intimidation keep pushing, keep striving, keep aiming high, and get out of your own way, and enjoy this journey.

 

 

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