During such crazy times, so many of us are just out here simply looking for the answers to life, or as many coin the phrase find “the cheat codes”. Quite frankly I’m here to tell y’all it ain’t none, sorry. All the shortcuts, handouts, and quick fixes don’t last nor do they work for real. But I’m pretty sure most of us know this already. It’s common sense but we also know common sense ain’t so common so, here we are. But on a serious thought, it’s that time of the year we are coming up on the New Year resolutions, vision-board, “this my year”, “new year new me head ass” time of the year; were we are all scrambling and some not so much scrambling to go into the new year better than we left the one before. Rather it’s making the effort to read more, become more financially able or stable (whatever works for you), finally getting serious about health, or simply finding better ways to cope with the discomforts of life, we are all looking for ways to be better us’s ( if that’s even a word if not, it is right now damnit).
I’ve had many reach out to me asking for advice, “you seemed to have figured it out” I hear way too often and I am here to tell ya, I’m far from that place and working daily to find it and hopefully share it with y’all one day, hence the Phoenix project. But none the less, my journey has been daily trial and error. Some days, I’m the shit! Meal prepped on time, managed to finished not one but dos books, worked out, wrote a blog post, managed to shower and feed the dog all while managing family, friendships, money and prepping for the future. Other days I’m doing good if I manage to get the chipped nail polish off my nails in a timely fashion. We all know this struggle. Rather we admit it out loud or not, it’s familiar and it’s honestly what I’ve had to be honest with myself about. The knowing when I can do better moment. It’s how I’ve stayed on track or gotten back on when I’ve fallen off. So with that in mind here is my “advice for gettin my life”:
Firs off there is no cookie cutter way of getting it right. Why not? Cause what’s right for me ain’t always gone be right for the next person. I remember times I would follow some of my top motivational folks best advice and would get a completely different outcome of the strength that everything doesn’t work for everybody. So it made me find my own rhythm. I also had to really sit and write the shit down and get to the bottom of what really made me happy. What the fuck did I really like to do? Not the stuff I did just for the sake or cause I was invited, or better yet had to do. But what made me excited to get up in the am and conquer that thang. What could put a smile on my face no matter what. What motivated me, what moved me, and how important was all this stuff if I had to fit it in in a day. I legit made a list of activities, moments, places, and even people that I enjoyed. And with me working a day job I placed all these likes in a ranking of importance. With that list it helps me manage my days a lot better and as those likes evolve I continue to make adjustments. It took and is still taking a lot of trial and error, as I get older my style changes, my likes change as I continue to learn and explore; so it’s a continuous development. However, we all know our hard hell naws. So I wrote those down too! What are my absolute no’s or what should they be if I wanted a different outcome than what I had been getting over the years. Figuring out my hard hell naws has helped me put a lot into perspective and has made me more comfortable with the most simplest yet sometime hardest word to say. No has become a very active word as of late. Rather it’s denying myself that extra slice of cheesecake, saying no to fam, friends, work, or foe or just simply not accepting failure as an option, the word no has made me explore MY options and myself. No has cut down on a lot of unnecessary money, time and effort being spent. Trust and believe your soul with thank you and the folks around you will appreciate times for your no as well; Especially if they know it’s coming from the right place. Another great tool is my calendar. I update it almost everyday to keep play by play of what each day will and has looked liked also, so I can see how I’m trending. if I’ve noticed the whole week I haven’t been in the gym I know for damn sure the following week some gym time better be blocked off or it’s gone be an issue. This also allows me a better way to plan time with friends and family as I’ve been attempting to nutrient those relationships more. Not only does it create the accountability for me it gets me in a habit of saying, who or what haven’t I checked on in a while. Because as important as personal growth is, if we are so caught up in our own lives we will miss the lives of those we say we love and that’s weak, as fuck just as much as not taking care of yourself. Creating multiple streams of savings. I can’t stress this one enough. Since I’m not rich I’ve made a point to save everywhere that I can. Apps like Qapital or YNAP, are small yet affective ways to “save the change” and come up on some much needed emergency funds in a pinch. I also suggest investing in a separate account that you have no debit card access to. This has saved me many of times for car repairs or when it’s simply an off week for me. Lastly keep the main thing the main thing. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in constant stresses life throws at us, it’s easy to wear our pain, our stress, our have not, but something that has always pulled me back to getting my life is always remembering what is important to me. Peace of mind, love and clarity are some tops on my list of importance and whatever does not align with that has no place in my space. When you can look at the world from a point of view of peace, or “more life” whatever that may be for you, gettin your life is more attainable than you think. I have other getcha life tips but Of course i would love to hear from others so please feel free to share how you get your life on the daily rather big or small because even those small deposits add up!Continue to live well and stay encouraged.