Unfuck Yourself.

With the first 31 days of the new year being out the way I first want to say, congratulations; you are making it! I know it gets hard and those new year resolutions don’t always look so promising and its much easier to go back to the old bad habits, but I’m here to remind you as I have to remind myself on the daily, keep moving forward. Im truly learning old habits die hard and its been a ride none-the-less but something that has truly helped me slowly but surely get out of the matrix, has been the desire to unfuck myself.  Yes that’s right; Get out of your own way. It is so easy to blame the wrongs in our lives on the what ifs, the pointed fingers, and the replayed same old sad stories that never get you anywhere but in your feelings. Its so easy to put off today what could be done tomorrow and to never take that chance, bet on yourself, and win. Its easy to blame genetics, politics, friends, “enemies”, God, ya momma and every other thing outside of ourselves as to why we are not doing better for ourselves and it is easy to stay in the rut. But what does it feel like to unfuck yourself? For many, we bank on the expectations of situations, people, and things, outside of ourselves to make our lives feel more rich.  The delusion that the work is not up to us to be done and that it takes our own effort even the smallest amount, to make a difference.

The goal for me has always been about continuously becoming better than who I was the day before. From every thought in my own mind, to the encounters that I have with those around me. That seems pretty doable and I’m 10000% sure I’m not the only unicorn working towards this. Yet, we tend to place the fate of our desires in the hands of everything outside of ourselves when the desire came from within….How sway!? How do we expect to be all and have all the desires yet delegate our fate to people and things that don’t even dream the way we dream. And when I say we I mean yourself as an individual, that inner self that we all talk to on that drive into work or when you get that much needed alone time. Don’t front, I know I’m not the only person that talks to themselves and if you say no, you lying, I don’t care! But anyways , Of course the co-sign from someone we admire always goes a long way; but what happens when the only member of the audience is you? What happens when the wins seem to be a little more spread out then then  L’s that seem to come like clockwork? The pointed fingers and self doubt definitely will attempt to find its ways at your front door, but you gotta know when to not even check for it.

Self doubt, self pity, neglect of self care, over analyzing, replaying the violin stories, holding grudges, procrastination, repeating bad habits, neglecting your passions, taking advise from folk who aint accomplished shit, being closed minded, falling to plan, lacking flexibility,comparing yourself to others , and not educating yourself to name a few . This shit knocks on my door routinely, yeah I just told on myself, but I had to. I wrote down (cause yall know I love writing shit down) everything that fucks me, and peep: all that shit is controllable by who you ask; My. damn. mothafuckin. self! Once I really took the time to see why I felt my world wasn’t turning how I felt it should be, instead of the pity party, I got my ass up and started making the changes, making the time, not the excuse and putting the positive and motiving energies into my own world. When you figure out what is in within your control, all the outside stuff will fall into place but it has to start from unfuckin yourself, first. The same beautiful place that holds all the glory can hold just as much of the pain and frustration until you learn how to get out of your own way. It really is mind over matter, change your mind; change your life. I know you guys are probably wondering what’s up with all the motivation sis!? I know yall waiting on more tips and tricks and apps and workout routines but before we can get to that, we gotta first get our minds right and de-cluttered to make room for all the great shit that can improve our quality of life. I challenge you to write down and feel free to share some of your own draw backs and how you plan to work through them and know even in the dark moments you are not alone and you hold more than you know if you make the effort; Continue to live well.



2 thoughts on “Unfuck Yourself.

  1. Great read! I feel like I behind on some things I was suppose to do in Jan but I told myself Feb 1st is my “new year” to start over and strategize better. Sometimes it feels like damn “when” will I get my breakthrough but everything in life is all apart of the process so I will go unfuck myself! This really helped me. Love you sis!!


  2. What I realize is what’s on my radar is not necessarily the priority. Avoiding uncomfortable situations causes some of those priorities to get pushed to the background. Consequences are increased anxiety over the small things. Anyone who knows me knows that I can take multi-tasking to an insane level, and feel RELAXED! Working under pressure has never been the problem. I have to find the task meaningful. That’s the answer for me.

    Keeping it positive (smiling), and real, I had to learn to do things God’s way. Check out Matthew 6:25-34. The middle clause of verse 34 says, “…for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” For me this meant not getting caught up doing so much heavy lifting, everything all at the same time. If we’re blessed to see another day, try to finish tomorrow or better yet maybe next week! If you’re praying, God may be saying NEVER! Take that off of “your” to-do list. It does not belong to you.

    Quincy Jones, Motown legend, said after several heart attacks, he realized he wasn’t going to live long enough to do all he had in his mind to do. So what he had to do was figure out what was most important to him, and do them! My main point is I don’t allow others to set my pace or to select all my tasks. Neglect and procrastination on the part of others can create a sense of urgency in your life you know. Transitioning out of these types of habits when you’ve been deemed “the fixer” can create anxiety and procrastination in your flow for your own life.

    So with prayer I seek for meaning in the task. I pay better attention to my gut. If there is something unsettling about the task, my answer is “no,” or at least not right now. In the flow of “Living Well,” regardless of what may or may not be awaiting tomorrow, don’t sweat the small stuff. Take the time to “Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give you the desires of thine heart.” Psalm 37:4


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