Friend Check!

Honest moment :

My name is Brianna and I used to suck at being a friend…still do sometime but God aint through with me yet; plus that aint the point im tryna make right now soooo moving left and right along . But yeah, I sucked… my idea of being the bestest friend was buying you shit and telling you all my business; all my drama, or lack there of. Of course we all enjoy those friends we can spill our guts to over a drink or 6  and know for damn sure you were on the Christmas gift list to receive the most thought out and precise bff gifts made to man. And last but certainly the most important: we ran the streets, being in all the hot spots together posting all the pics and getting all the likes. When my folk would tell me the lasted gossip I asked more questions, to get more unnecessary detail. When it was time to party I was at the mall getting my best outfit game tight knowing damn well none of us had the funds for the fun but it was what it was.  Those friendships  stop working for me early on and always seemed to be short lived. I’d seemed to have always created and hop from circle to circle, yet I felt like I was always missing something. I would have spent hours with people and left feeling more empty than what I had came and not just my pockets but my spirit too. I would spend hours with these same individuals and felt I still knew nothing about them, their dreams, goals, fears, and deepest desires nor did they know any of mine for real. And to be honest, that scared me. How could I consider these folks my riders when I only got to see em in some superficial shit.  No discredit to those times or individuals as I would hope they all know they have a special place in my heart for em; but I knew I needed something more and wanted to give something greater than just a good time after work hours. I really had to take the time to sit and think, what was I giving in these relationship, what were we bonding out of? I legit heard the word misery. Yall know what Im saying, Most of the people I found myself surrounded by we were all bonding in some form of common misery. Rather we all came to a job we hated, in a situation that was beyond trash, or simply mocked and laughed at the misery of others, while attempting to hide our own flaws, debts and insecurity. I realized I had never really done the work to be a friend. I was so busy chasing the look of a friend that I didn’t really know how to be one nor accept genuine friendship when they were presented to me. Crazy right!? I legit had to check my damn self. I was coming to everybody’s rescue but in the wrong way and repeat offenders had me on speed dial. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t out here scammin and plottin on folks but truth, I wasn’t building them up how I could have either. I was praying for everybody in my quiet time but too afraid to let my friends openly hear me intercede for them in their situations cause I didn’t want to come off weird. I thought building brands and seeing the world seemed cool but instead of talking  about budgets and business plans, I swept it under the rug cause I didnt want to sound boring or fuck up the party vibes. I wasn’t pushing anyone to be better or to get out of those ruts they were in. I wasn’t encouraging them to talk about their goals nor encouraging them to pursue them shits and deep down inside that was the missing piece and missing peace of mind.

As i’ve gotten older and evaluate and grow myself and attempt to assist others, I have to continue to check the pulse of the ships. Yes all the ships, relationships and friendships alike cause they all gotta measure up to count for me. What mattered to my friends had to start mattering to me and vice versa and not just the drama and the not so pleasant. Each of us bring something special to this place rather we realize it or not and sometimes it takes the effort of others or the mishaps of life to start getting to the root of what we value and desire. We all need that homegirl or fella gassin us up and correcting us on the daily. How do we expect to get better and grow if nobody on the team is checkin on the ships even if youre the broken link? I challenge each of us to be what we need in the world; a better friend. The friend that wont let you walk out the house knowing damn well that outfit aint lit. Be that friend that will facetime you to help you with a project, be the one that supports and comes to the events or simply checks in to say “hey, I love you.”

I also challenge all of us to be a better friend not just to those around us but to start with the one closest to you, ya sis or brother you look at in the mirror everyday. Speak positivity into your own life so that it becomes natural to speak it into those around you. Support your own dreams and bring em to life so that you can extend that same effort to your crews goals. Many of us feel we lack when our team can be our greatest asset and we don’t even know it if we aint checkin for it.  An encouraging word or a simple phone call to discuss ideas and actually put foot to motion in helping your friends achieve goals is true friendship. Share a book with one another, hit a entrepreneur seminar together, dream big with and for one another, have a credit card cut up party, do it all and celebrate each others wins big and small.

Continue to Live well.

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