“Souled”

~a monologue or dialogue dependin on who’s askin~ 🤷🏾‍♀️

I’ve broken up with you thousands of times in my mind yet youre still here.

I’m not really sure what all the worry is about it’s not like we’ve never moved on and always manage to figure it out.

It has to do a lot with the irritation of constantly starting over, so you stay tell the truth.

A vow to no longer be a part of the stress, not even my own but a solution driven mindset

But the set back is that it’s all in my head and the visualization just won’t dead.

I mean won’t die. Like the way my affections for things once loved kinda slides by.

Like for real what do you do when your mind is the enemy? Always tryna do the devils works…always thinking somebody’s out to hurt, me.

Tryna come for me, knock me off my game and play me for a fool with the fool you thought you knew naw baby girl that fool has been you, Yes boo boo you are the fool.

Silly girl was just a snap shot of all the Snapchat filters my mind places on the world around me; but them shits got that reverse affect and it all looks pretty fucking ugly.

I’ve broken up with the heartbreak and asked God to prove me wrong these days and I mean it, yet this bitch is holdin on for dear fucking life

What rhymes with life? You mean trife like ya life?

See, there she goes rearing her negative naggin ass ways like literally this bitch always got something to say.

Somethings always wrong; always the matter.

I wish black lives had this much weight causing all of the chatter, like the negativity tries to circulate

You’re the dream killer the killer of her, you know that right?

Or the black dollor fuck the followers “let’s build”!

But ain’t nobody tryna do that shit cause goin against the grain seems to always get you killed.

There she go stopping me before I can even start like bitch let me go, I’m tryna live life from the art I mean the heart and the soul and all that other magical shit

Yeah… alright… til ya negativity hit.

Then we back on the gram tryin not to go ham

To scared to speak up

Feeling no one gives a fuck

Therapy hit or miss

Can’t solve all ya problems with ya fist

Alcohol been old

And I’m just tired of living like my soul has been souled.

Souled all the way out to the point I cry for that sweet loving girl to come home.

Yo ass don’t even know what “home” look like so where the fuck you think you headed….

I ain’t I ain’t really really sure yet sis You see I was bout to get all loud in shit, but I just know the negative space…. I gotta dead it

And fast cause my life depends on it

No bitch OUR life depends on bein the realist and yes I mean that in all the ways

You won’t ever see me catch another fade from bein too laid

Back off all the positive vibes and hugs and high fives knowing damn well our world ain’t tryna be cut out for that shit

But what if it is and we just tryna feel the first hit that never ends like them songs drippin gems.

Of the highest vibration that we hear about so much fran?

You don’t think WE deserve to feel that summer breeze B?

To the point I’ve been praying to touch more importantly tryna feel

Cause all this negative shit can’t be real

Yeah but what if we get hurt along the way

Nigga we done did this before and yeah that’s why I don’t wanna do it no more

You keep ME the logic one for a reason, BRI and don’t you ever forget that!

Like them days back on prairie!

And bitch you ain’t did shit but made me hella scary.

I appreciate all the help you have attempted to give some sense of caution has protected me…

but it has also made me doubtfully successful

And I don’t mean that in a good way.

We win at doubting then when it happens we all hurt in shit…like the L’s I take because of fear has got to let up, bitch we have to break up!

But what’s gonna happen when it starts going too well…

Or when all the shit hits the fan

I mean I’m good for creating fan hitting shit you know

Our idea of drama always steals the show

We tell the best stories Bri

We’re always so dramatic

Why not let the negative space continue to reek havoc

Like why are you so shitty ma, life ain’t been that bad trust me our struggle ain’t been the easiest but this ain’t the worst life someone could have…we are blessed compared to the experiences others have had. We keep hearing stories of our divine ancestory line yet you can’t make it past the last heart break or let down.

Remember they told us we were the angels that fell, so why fear and worry when there are so many other thoughts to be held.

Like the love of our partner our family I mean the cards we’ve been dealt God hasn’t let us fail yet and yo ass still won’t let up I mean chile what the fuck

See I think that’s our problem we do shit like say God, soul, fuck and shit all within the same phrase

Blow down the vibes of the hays and still tryna find ways to get laid

So the duality is real then?! and that’s why we never know what bag we bout to come out of on the feels in, there he goes licking his ass again”.

Yeah this is my poem.

But thats what makes me beautiful sis yet you keep tryna shit on my parade

Wait now which one of us is talkin cause this is getting too personal cuttin deep like the blade

This is how we talk to ourself!?

No wonder we’re all confused on who to listen to.

And these are only the interludes.

The soul exposes the thief the thief of our joy, it’s ourselves.

Conflict without conflict with In we gotta challenge conflict and work on the win.its in you I know it it love on yourselves enough to live to win in excellence.

Souled-❤️

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