Yogi rants… what anxiety looks like….

My anxiety and fears and other negative low enegies have taken many shapes and form especially when I am trying to hold it together but not doing my best at it. It’s like I’m attempting to stay busy with a bunch of “busy” shit that leads me nowhere close to where I truly want to see myself being.

What does Briannas fear look like:

Overindulgence in social media. I feel the need for confirmation or the need to keep myself n the “social loop” not wanting to miss anything. Going between social sites and justifying it by updating outdated ideas of me ie cleaning my old pics I don’t want On the site, unfriending and friending “networking” the idea of wanting to have moment to moment action of a person almost to feel closer Intune with their habits thoughts and Interactions to get clues on things I fell they wouldnt want to with me. Feels like a way of being connected to some kinda world without the responsibility of showing up the same way everyday and ending it whenever I want to be not really cause some how I find myself right back scrolling my damn live away Wasting time could be reading better yet writing my own book or something, procrastination and fear of its finest especially when I ain’t feeling my most creative. I look at everyone else’s ability to write so eloquently, post in all the country I could only imagine about and have that presence of power where ever when ever callin myself getting “clues of inspiration”

Emotional eating:

I will binge eat chips, cheesecake, Chocolate, bread, or anything I know that’s not in the fruit and veggies list. Especially when I am nervous, anxious, or just simply uncomfortable. As a way to not cope with what my gut could be attempting to communicate I stuff the energy/ emotion down pack it down until I feel fat and sick. Then that turns in to fear of actually gaining weight so then I throw away what’s left of the bad food and begin to detox this cycle goes on for weeks at a time. I’ll have a good 2 – 3 week run of healthy eating/ energy water intake all of the things then after while something g happens or shit nothing happens and my mind becomes over active and I’m reaching for the first thing I can get my hands on to gain temporary satisfaction

Impulsive shopping, desire to change my surrounding or image.

When I want to shake things up, feeling out of control, if I am feeling bored or like I am not in control of a situation I will find things I can control and try to “change them” dye my hair again after I said I’d stop especially me knowing it can damage the hair health. Change some furniture around in a whole new house or city, spend money I should be investing on my purpose on unnecessary clothes, shoes, food, time with friends, products cause “I’ve been good, I deserve it, if I don’t spend on me who will” when the last time we been out with such and such this could be y’all last go hard af.

Still learnin…

what other wild shit will I learn, find out next time on the next episode of dragon ball Bri…

One thought on “Yogi rants… what anxiety looks like….

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