How bout surrender…

Eye have been blessed to tap into my yoga practice everyday for the last week each rising, the most consistent I’ve been in a while😅. It’s amazing what transforms when it seems as space appears “limited”, you begin to fight for what has kept you. Vulnerability is something that has kept coming up for me; in conversation, feelings, seeming conflict and even in my yoga practice. This feeling of nakedness has made me more aware of how eye have systematically avoided vulnerability consciously and unconsciously my entire life. When just talking about it now I’ve jumped up a number of times to help me escape or create a diversion*runs to get something out the fridge, look outside, yawn… you name it*. Eye have avoided relationships, entrepreneurship dreams, sharing my gifts, I’ve even avoided resting pose; shavasana due to how naked and open these instances have felt. If you don’t know what shavasana is you a literary laying on the floor in a surrendered open bread face style way palms up long your side heart open almost like a five pointed star. So many times I wanted to roll over on my side or lay on my stomach just to cover myself. To feel protection, to feel covered not so exposed. I realized how I was paying the price in the long run. As I laid there and kept wanting to roll over like a Rollie polly I kept hearing “nope stay open, stay right here, rest in this right here and now”. Nothing to hide behind, I felt cold For a minute I imagined I couldn’t breath (peep the ego), nothing to fall back on, no one to affirm or coddle me at what felt my lowest; can’t say you don’t know. Nothing to hide me from my own heart when eye am feeling challenged to show where eye may hurt too. To fell challenged in some way has utterly scared the crap into me, not out. To the point it had made my life not measure up to that I know to be my highest self, to measure up to what I feel it should be filled with more of: love, beauty, connectedness. This awareness has become a call to action because eventually the fear becomes the box I say I’ve never wanted to live in. Vulnerability truly gives us the space to see ourselves; all of us, that connectedness even in rest that I’ve avoided so much constantly on the run… from what though, that shadow boo too. Forget who else sees you, how do you describe your inner muse? Vulnerability opens you the strength, opens your heart, that was the first place eye begin to feel the cool breeze, and eye loved me for that, eye hope you choose that for you too.

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